I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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