i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
