i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Randomize
