I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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