No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
