what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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