Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
