So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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