why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
