that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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