I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
