Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
