i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My underwear smells like fireworks.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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