sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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