meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
