Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
