As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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