First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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