Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
