Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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