I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize