did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
