I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
