I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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