drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
