Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
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