He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
