WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
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Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
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He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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