What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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