May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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