We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
