Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
