I'm jealous of your bromance
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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