I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize