Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
