he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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