She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
