me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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