Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Randomize
