Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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