I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
