Pregnant stripper...not hot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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