absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
