oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
