there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Randomize
