you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
