what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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