bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
