You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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