and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
