I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
