i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
