you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
