very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
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if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
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Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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