i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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