I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish my penis had a tongue
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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