I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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