i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
is it fun? or sober?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
