I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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