i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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