Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
