Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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