all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
This show inspires me to have sex in space
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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