I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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