let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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