these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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